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The Stories Project

Recovery stories

Stories to inspire change

We all have unique stories when it comes to alcohol and other drug use, but whatever you're going through, there are others who share similar experiences.

Discover stories from everyday Territorians - stories that explore the signs and symptoms of their struggles, how they found support and what they do to maintain their wellbeing today. Hearing their stories of recovery can help you envision your own path.

About The Stories Project

The Stories Project by AADANT collects and shares stories from people in the Northern Territory who have lived experiences with alcohol and other drug use. These stories will be part of a national campaign, Rethink Addiction, which aims to reduce stigma and foster understanding by amplifying the voices of those directly affected.

Contributions from across Australia will be showcased at the Rethink Addiction Convention in September. Here, you can find unique stories gathered by AADANT's Stories Project Officers, Sam Moore and Jordan Mack, presented in various multimedia formats to inspire and promote change.

Journey through their eyes

Watch real-life stories of Territorians sharing their experiences with alcohol and other drug use. Each video offers an authentic look at personal struggles, recovery and hope.

Sal's Story - Recovery Outloud

I am a 51 year old woman in recovery, building an awesome new life. I started using drugs at 9yo, by 15yo was using daily. It was as if every decade I was enslaved by another addiction until I had had enough at 47yo and I put myself into rehab for the first time.

I like to use my Lived experience to show others, if you are seeking change, that it’s never too late. I am proudly a peer worker. I like to encourage people to reach out and get supports if they are experiencing issues with addiction because they are not alone. Believe in your worth and fight for your life.

Birds Eye View Podcast

Birds Eye View is a podcast made by female prisoners in the Darwin Correctional Centre (DCC).
Collectively hosted by 18 women, each episode centres on a core theme, using interviews, poetry, satire and the prison soundscapes to tell the story. From the holding cells where women are strip-searched to the industries section where Qantas headsets get refurbished, the women share their personal stories of survival and resilience.
What’s it like to be in prison with your mum? And what’s it like to be a mum in prison?

Our commitment to lived experience

AADANT treats lived and living experience as central to how we work, not something set aside for one project or one page. It shapes the policy positions we take, how we design and deliver services across the Territory, and how we support the AOD workforce. The Stories Project is one visible part of that, but the commitment runs through everything we do.
Your story matters. By sharing your experiences with alcohol and other drug use, you can help break down stigma, offer hope to others and be a part of a powerful movement toward understanding and change.

If you have a lived experience to share, we'd love to hear from you. Whether through words, images or any creative medium, your story can make a difference. Please contact Sam Moore at samuel.moore@menzies.edu.au to be part of the Stories Project and help inspire others by adding your voice.
AADANT proudly acknowledges the Larrakia people as the Traditional Custodians of the land on which our office stands and the waterways we view. We extend this acknowledgement to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people across Australia and pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.
This activity is supported by funding from the Australian Government through the Department of Health, Disability and Ageing.
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Angel's Story

I was the last person you would ever imagine could fall victim to the tragedy of drug addiction.Ā 

A straight A student who graduated high school a year early with an OP3, an impeccable athlete who won ā€˜age champion’ in every sporting event in every year at high school and was a successful amateur boxer, and a deeply analytical and self-aware person who was constantly told that I could do and be anything I set my mind to. I was even blessed with a beautiful family, whole and untainted by divorce, with a father that ensured I was always clothed and a mother who put food on the table every night.

But drug addiction does not discriminate and nor do the horrors of life. I fell into deep depression around the age of 10 or 11 following my first encounter with sexual assault which worsened throughout my life until its peak around the age of 21/22 at the height of my addiction. Throughout the time in between, I was the victim of multiple additional occurrences of sexual assault and was now onto my fourth unhealthy relationship and the third relationship that had resulted in acts of physical violence.

After suffering what now in hindsight seems like the most insignificant ā€˜heart break’ at the age of 20/21, I went from being content living a life of meaninglessness partying and drinking my youth away, to being on a hell-bent mission to completely destroy my life. At this stage I had had six failed suicide attempts and was heading straight towards the seventh, which thankfully was also unsuccessful. I was also deeply entrenched in eating disorders and self-harm, which had been begun in late primary school and never truly stopped. At its core, I had given up on life, the heartbreak had finally pushed me over my breaking point, and my soul had left the building. I was ready to die. And I made it my mission to bring that date forward as quickly as I could.

I met my now ex-partner shortly after the ā€˜heartbreak’ that sent me spiralling downward, and he brought with him the access to a drug I had always wanted to try but never really had offered to me – ice. Whilst I admit I never seemed to fully gain all the benefits that others claim to gain from the drug, it offered me the ability to work ridiculously long hours to further my new career in finance and also inhibited my desire to eat – something the disordered eating behaviours in me really treasured at the time. I was instantly hooked and my partner and I – who had been using the drug himself for some 15 years on and off – both fell into a critical state of addiction very quickly.

I spent the next 1-2 years entrenched in addiction while my partner was dealing ice out of our home to ā€˜keep costs down’. Not only was my situation with ice reaching the point of no return, but my partner at the time had become a source of extreme fear for me. Following a personal tragedy, his addiction took a turn for the worse and he became hostile to the point I truly believed that he was capable of and more than willing to kill me. He would flick between empathy and evil, often telling me when he was right of mind that he was also worried he might really hurt me or ā€˜accidentally’ end my life. I spent many months fearing for my life and feeling unsafe in my own home, and that coupled with the drug addiction most certainly drove me mad.
It is amazing how an addict can convince themself that their addiction is minor or does not exist at all. I recall telling my partner I could stop whenever I wanted to, but that it was helping my work and making me beautiful, so I didn’t want to. Then came the first day I tried to quit, and I realised my mistake. I was completely hooked and could not even get out of bed on any given day without knowing I had access to the drug for the rest of the day. I would sleep (and eat) one day a week and the other 6 days would be spent working 20hrs at a time, studying or riding my motorbike in a completely unhinged manner.

After finally summing up what little courage I had left to leave my abusive partner, I was but a shell of the person I had used to be. I had completely lost my beauty physically and my soul was fractured and hopeless. I had no choice but to move back in to my parents granny flat to get away from my partner, who continued to stalk me and offer me drugs in an attempt to get me to come back to our house for some time after the breakup.
I remember clearly the day it all changed, the day I decided to fight back. It was night time actually, and I was sitting on the edge of my bed, pipe in hand. I had had eight infections in the previous 3 months and spent most of those months on courses of antibiotics to try and combat the diseases I was plagued with. I could hardly breathe most days, my hair was falling out at a rapid pace and most of all, I felt such an intense fatigue inside of me that I still cannot fully describe to this day. It wasn’t just the absence of physical energy. It really felt as though my soul had vacated my body, and whatever was now driving it did not have my best intentions at heart. Holding my pipe in one hand and wiping tears that fell freely and effortlessly from my face with the other, I knew that if I did not change something I was going to die, and soon.

There was a part of me that was content with that outcome. But there was another part of me that hated myself for wasting what had been unlimited potential. I realised in that moment how truly blessed I had been and how I had taken it all for granted. And so began my recovery journey.

I spent the next couple of years going through the ups and downs of recovery, getting a ways and then relapsing and so on and so forth. I went back to boxing, finding comfort in the gym, and used it as a tool to help pull myself up out of the hell-hole I had fallen into. There is nothing quite like a boxing gym for setting the untethered soul back on a path to self-realisation.

Boxing saved my life. What first was a tool to recover soon became my new addiction and I fell back in love with the sport I had grown up using as my only therapy for everything adverse I had ever experienced in life. And so birthed ā€œThe Alchemistā€ which became the code name for the person I became in the gym, the person that was able to take anything horrible, burn it to the ground and create something beautiful out of its ashes.

I am proud to say that I am now well over three years clean and the current Australian Superfeatherweight Champion in professional boxing. After being unable to imagine a day without ice, I now could never imagine touching the drug again and promote a very clean and healthy image on social media, seeking to inspire others to find happiness through health as I believe strongly that a healthy body is the fastest way to achieve a healthy mind.

If there is one thing I have taken away from my experience it is that the mind is more powerful than you could every imagine and it is entirely your decision if you want to use that power for good or evil. I chose love. I chose life. I chose me. And I cannot thank myself enough for having the courage to take back my life. The power is yours.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Jeremy's Story

Jeremy, thanks for meeting with me today. We've touched base before, but it's always great to reconnect. Can you tell me a bit about your story, especially as it relates to your use of substances and recovery?

Alright, excellent. Thank you. My name's Jeremy Downes and I live with bipolar. I've lived with bipolar since I was a teenager, and I'm on medication for it, so I can be very high functioning with bipolar, or I can be very manic. To describe what it feels like- It feels like a living with a lifetime supply of amphetamines and having to take a tablet to stop you from feeling good, you know? So, I have grandeur, delusions and ideas and spend a lot of money and write letters to prime ministers and I have a good old time but, in the meantime, I'm having a great time, but I'm upsetting everybody, you know.

So, I’ve been on medication for over 20 years now for my mental illness. I’ve never really looked at bipolar as a setback, and I still was able to work in a high-functioning position. I worked as an Aboriginal health practitioner in a remote setting in places like Tiwi Islands, Maningrida, Port Keats, Yuendumu and a lot of Central Australian communities as well, so a little bit about my work.

What I did was we based our work on the concepts of primary healthcare. So, we that was about preventative medicine really. So, it was about giving education to community people about preventing illness. So, for example, if somebody had got cuts in their feet would treat the injuries and put on dressings for the wounds, but then would give education, say if you put on thongs or you put on shoes you wouldn't get this sort of injury. And that that's just an example of some of the work that we did. So, and we mainly related it to a lot of chronic illnesses. So, things like hypertension, high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease and preventable chronic diseases as well. So, it was about putting education back into the community. I really loved that job, and I worked in that position for over 20 years, and I worked on an on call role roster where worked at 8:00 to 5:00pm and then from five to eight the next morning. We’d be on call, and we’d take turns being on call for after-hours work as well, so I had a great sense of satisfaction being able to work in remote communities had the privilege of meeting families, experiencing culture and being part of the community network and your role in the clinic was pretty important to the Community because you're seen as a healer in the community. So, that was it was pretty good, so you know.

My story is, like I said, I live with bipolar and I have manic phases where I can go a couple of years without a manic episode and then then for a couple of weeks I'm manic and having a good time, not upsetting everybody, and then I get back into the back into the swing of things with medications. But I think the hardest part about living with bipolar is it's not so much the the illness itself, but it's the the stigma of mental illness in society. So once people see you that that you've been mentally unwell, they label you as being mad or psycho or… They criticise your ability to be able to live a high functioning life. But that never really stopped me from working and doing things I loved so yeah yeah so.

I'm pretty family orientated, I'm sort of a one of the one of five kids. My my mother's one of eight kids and my grandmother's, one of eleven kids. My father, he was a Englishman from a place called Hereford in England, and he passed away when I was very young, so I don't remember him and my mother and grandmother - they're Wiradjuri people from Cootamundra in southern NSW and the Riverina. So, I sort of was brought up by my mum's family. So, I'll get to sort of meet all the uncles and their aunties. Yeah, I only really know my mother's family so, but I left NSW when I was very young, older, not very young. Say when I was in my late teens, early 20s. And I was interested in Indigenous primary healthcare.

So, I sort of came across to Darwin and did a traineeship with Danilla Dilba which was the Aboriginal Medical service in Darwin to undergo my Aboriginal health practitioner training. So, the training itself went for about 12 to 18 months and we did it in block releases where we spent a few weeks in the class and then we're buddied up with other health workers in the clinic to get that clinical exposure. Yeah. And we did that for about 18 months until we got our qualifications and we were registered with APRA that to be able to work independently in clinics by ourselves. That's where my interest in indigenous health came from. Yeah. So just seeing that, that there's a big need in society for education and to try and help families battle through chronic illnesses and injuries, you know, that are preventable.

So yeah. I've got 7 kids. They live on Tiwi Islands. I've got a stepdaughter. I’ve got a daughter to my first marriage and then five kids to my ex. So, between my and hers and ours I've got 7 children. They still all live on the on the islands, and no matter how much I try to bring them into Darwin to relocate and live a more urban lifestyle, they just can't do it. They can't adjust. They love their island life and the freedom in the community so much and they still practise their culture, speak their language and learning kinship about relationships with other people in the communities. My daughters are hoping to get into nursing or followed my steps. Follow my footsteps and be Aboriginal health practitioners as well.

So, I’m pretty family focused. My struggle with addiction was when I went through when my first marriage. I went through a a bad relationship and I didn't really know how to deal with stress. I was dealing with a dysfunctional relationship I was trying to work. I lived with a mental illness, so having to try and set boundaries from my mental illness and to live with the mental illness and control that aspect of my life, but I just couldn't deal with all the all the stress, so I started smoking a lot of ganja, started smoking cigarettes. And drinking a lot and that was a that was the worst thing because it just set me off like a time bomb. So, I lost a lot of weight. I wasn't eating. I was just enjoying myself. I was really self-medicating. I didn't know how to deal with stress.

I didn't know how to deal with my problems and I was just running away from reality really. So, I did that for about 12 months and started to realise that that, that there was more important things in, in, in life that were that were more meaningful to me, such as family. And it wasn't to until I hit rock bottom and I ended up in Cowdy Ward that I realise there's more to life than just drinking and smoking and self medicating. I need to be strong for my family and and for my kids as well, so yeah.
What were some of the things that helped you on that recovery journey? Obviously, connection with family and community sounds like it's really important. Were there other things that also supported?

Yeah, yeah. So some of the things that supported me with my mental illness and my drug and alcohol addiction was either networked with the mental health coalition with Noleen Armstrong and with the NT lived Experience Network to help me with my recovery. I stopped drinking. I still smoke cigarettes, but I've cut down a lot, and I stopped smoking a lot of ganja now. I'm learning to deal with stress so... So, I'm learning to deal with stress now and realise that that family is more important and that's my that's my main goal in in my recovery is to stay focused, stay strong and I think if I do go off the rails my kids are seeing what I'm going through, and I don't want them to normalise my behaviour so I want to be there for them. So, I want to show them the difference between what's right and what's wrong. Alcohol and and drugs are not the way to manage stress or to run away from your problems, but it's about being strong as a person and being supported by a family, yeah. What were some of the things that helped you on that recovery journey? Obviously, connection with family and community sounds like it's really important. Were there other things that also supported? It's a really great message.

Yeah, I think. of hope for other people that might be on a similar journey.

Yeah. Yeah. So I lived in remote Aboriginal communities for over 20 years and I love my work and I had a manic episode and had a relationship breakdown and was forced to leave the community that I was living in and my ex-partner and my family still live in the community. But I live in Darwin now and I've faced problems such as homelessness for the first time, so I stayed in places like the Sunrise Centre, which is a homeless centre in Berrimah which is run by Salvation Army and then I stayed in the Bakhita Centre, which is a homeless centre for single men in Coconut Grove Grove and that's run by Saint Vinny de Pauls. But. And now I've moved into a team health, accommodation and team health is a mental health non government organisations in Darwin that does that takes care of people that live with chronic mental illness problems, they they help you with your journey of recovery as well. I’ve started started working again, so I'm doing voluntary work now at Vinny de Paul's as a storeman and I'm still very family focused. I speak to my kids every day on the phone and they come across to Darwin as much as they can to come and visit me. I'm drug free. I'm alcohol free and I'll just take one day at a time for my recovery.

So yeah, that's really awesome, Jeremy. Sounds like your kids have some great connections too, both with you, but also to culture and country out on Tiwi, yeah

Yeah, careful. Yeah, my kids, they they love going out fishing. They eat a diet of turtle, turtle and dugong and magpie goose. They're very keen into AFL, into football. And yeah, they sort of love the fishing and they and the islands, the island lifestyle and living in a tight knit Aboriginal community where they've got all their family with them and they're still there, they still able to connect to their kinship and to learn their cultural identity in the community.

Because all those things I've heard are very and seen with people are very protective, I guess in other people's journeys, having connection with. Culture. Language, country.

Yeah. So, I think part of part of my journey is about connection. So it's about connecting, and for my kids as well as family, they got a connection to culture, connection to country. The connections with their school and school sports and AFL and in their hunting so and that that makes me feel sort of pretty proud and connected to be part of their family as well on the island so yeah.

Wow, yeah. Connection. It's kind of the key hey. Yeah, so it's about being strong, it's about knowing your boundaries, it's about your identity and the community. Know who you are, where you're from, know who your family is, and being a strong role model for your family, yeah.

That's an awesome message, yeah. Is there anything else you wanted to share, Jeremy?

I'd just like to say for people that are going through the same journey with mental illness and drug and alcohol addiction that you just take one day at a time. Set yourself goals. If you relapse, still set your same goals but just take that one day at a time. Find a positive supportive network of positive people to be around so family, friends. Network with the social circles that are going to support you with your recovery. So, whether it's a mental health coalition or NT Lived Experience Network. You can tap into AA or NA. It's about finding people having the same issues as you but being in a supportive environment, knowing that you're not alone. And there's people that are going through the same journey as you. So I think that the key message is to take one day at a time.

Yeah, I think that'll mean a lot for people here that will read this story as a take home message.

Yeah, So I think my motivation for being strong and healthy was I wanted to be there for my kids. I wanted to be there for my family. I didn't want them to see me manic, or I don't want them to see me on drugs. I don't want them to see me drinking. I wanted to be a positive role model in their lives and to be able to guide them through their… Give them guidance and support them with growing up and becoming good people.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

William's Story

When you think about drug addiction you will normally picture someone, probably unemployed, dirty, few teeth and who are in trouble with the law. Well, that is how I pictured a drug addict right up to the time I became one.I was an Army Officer in the 2nd Commando Regiment.

I had 30 odd years military experience with Operations in Somalia, Rwanda (including the Kibeho massacre), multiple tours of Afghanistan and a number of Domestic Terrorism operations. It was after returning from my last tour to Afghanistan, with the Special Operations Task Force, that I became sick. When I look back now, I can see that my mental health went down hill very quickly. At the time I did not understand what was happening. I stopped doing the things I liked, I stop socialising and I started withdrawing. It was a perfect storm because not only was I struggling I was struggling alone.

Because of the operational tempo of the Unit my Wife and kids decided to remain in Darwin while I went back to Sydney. It was then I was introduced to Methamphetamine or ICE. Initially it fixed everything and made everything right again, that’s until it didn’t. For just under 12 months I was living a double life. An Officer enforcing the Army’s drug policy during the day and then sticking needles in my arm at night. I knew I had a problem and the only thing I could do was run away from it. I initially put in my discharge papers from the Army thinking that if I got back to my family that would fix me. It didn’t. I was only home for a month or so when the Army asked me to come back. I thought that going back to the career that I loved would fix me. It didn’t.

Finally I decided to come forward to the Army and ask for help then things got worse. The Army did not know what to do. I lost my security clearance so I could not work and for weeks I was sent to my room to wait. This suited me fine and I kept using. I thought that coming forward would save me and my career. It didn’t.The next four to five years were a nightmare. The Army accepted liability for me using and medically discharged me. I moved back here with my family, who only found out I was a drug addict after I informed the Army. I was still using heavily when I got here and could not understand how I had ended up like I did.

There have been a few rough patches where my anxiety would tell me that Mission Australia was going to sack me but 12 months later I am grateful to still be working here. I have filled all the roles at MARRTS and have been fortunate enough to now be the Program Manager. I am really enjoying this job along with study at Charles Darwin University. I am learning every day and enjoy being of the Mission Australia team. It has been a long road out of addiction but I am starting to feel like the man I once was.
In 2015 I found myself banging on Banyan House’s door crying and begging for them to let me in. I think I spent two weeks there before telling them that I was cured. I remember my wife sitting in the office crying and begging them to keep me and help me. I was not ready for recovery. That was my first of three residential rehabilitation centres. I was very fortunate because Veteran Affairs paid for all my treatment. Unfortunately, after completing my second go at rehabilitation I used again within a week of leaving.

My addiction was getting worse. So bad that I left my wife and kids and headed to Brisbane where I knew ICE was cheap. For the next two years I was homeless and couch surfing. Finally an organisation called Veterans 360 who find homeless Vets and help them, got me into my third rehab. This time I completed the three month program with the Hader Clinic in Queensland. I then did a further six to seven months further rehabilitation in their transition house. It was while I was living there that my wife asked me to come home and I did.

It was back in Darwin, at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, when I heard a member sharing that they work for Mission Australia. I had been clean for nearly two years and had been playing with the idea of doing something to help those who were struggling with addiction. I was given a number to ring and a day or so later I was sitting in an interview with the Program Manager of the Mission Australian Residential Rehabilitation Treatment Service (MARRTS). This process alone created a lot of anxiety. You have to remember that I had been in the Military since I was sixteen and had no experience with job interviews. I commenced work as a Support Worker in October of 2019.

I know Mission Australia has been very supportive of me. Although my work ethic could not have been faulted the way I dealt with certain situations needed work. As an Officer in the Army I generally needed to confront problems face on and tell it how it was. Now, and still today, I am trying to feel my way around certain situations. I am definitely a work in progress. My journey has been difficult. Certain things and conversations still have a triggering effect on me. It is amazing how out of nowhere I noticed that I am daydreaming about using. My brain still wants that feeling.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Braxton's Story

Hey how you going im Braxton. I am here to share my story.

Back in the day. I was an addict, currently self-referred myself to rehab to get off Methamphetamines. And it was pretty hard because when I was 11, I started. My mom little sister and I were going to a soccer game. And Mom had a microsleep and we had a car crash. And unfortunately, she passed, my little sister came out with a scratch, and I was in a coma for a long time. And I had a real, I got four metal poles, internal bleeding, so I was pretty messed up. By the age of 11, I was using methamphetamines, by my best mate, Tyrone cause, he seen I was upset every day. And he didn't know what to do.

He was on it and he was like ā€œyou wanna try thisā€. And I went from one puff a day to 2-3-4-5 puffs a day, and then it went from me and him dealing. So, we started dealing heaps of drugs, and it was just a constant, I always had it in front of me and it was pretty fucked. It was really hard and being on meth for the last six years an major self-referred myself to rehab.
You pretty incredible because most people wouldn't do that being on meth for 6 years. And I lost my mom and, until this day, the cravings and emotions are coming back. So it's getting harder and harder and I just want to go back to using but im telling myself that I'm better than that.

And cause i wanna see my son. He's two years old, next year, April the 4th. I can't wait to see my son. He's a little man. And being on the drugs, I can't look after him and be the father I want and can for him, i don't 'cause when i was 11 I never grow up with a dad. From then on, he took off on me. And I want to show my son what it's like to live with a family, with a dad. His whole life. I wanna be there for him every day of his life. So yeah, and I advise you don't get on meth because it's pretty bad and it eats you away from the second you start.

And I can tell you from my own personal experience, because some days I've been lying there, scattered out, talking to myself, sitting in the corner of the room, talking himself, seeing shit, hallucinating. It's a pretty bad drug and I recommend don't do it at all. And yeah, thanks for hearing my story.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Grant's Story

Grant, do you want to tell me a bit about your story, bit about your background?

Yeah. My name’s Grant Wallaby, I was born in Katherine, NT. I grew up in Kalkarindji west of Katherine. I grew up all my life in Western Australia, Hall’s Creek and in Arnhem Land, Maningrida. My childhood was okay, pretty good, growing up as a kid, going to school and at the age of nine or eight I started doing robbing, stealing, breaking into teachers’ houses, school, at the shop then I was more like being a bad person and my mum and dad couldn’t handle me so much breaking in. So, I was sent to juvenile detention for nearly two or three months.

The detention centre was way more hard and more violent than the outside world, you get treated as – not from the guards but the other kids, other juveniles were treat you as – they beat you up, torture you. It was terrible for me back then. I cried and that’s the time, was a point where I just break down. Couldn’t do much of where to go and what to do ā€˜cause you were in this four-wall, isolated at the juvi centre. You were nothing at all. Once the lights goes off you just in the dark, you kind of hear voices saying that you’re useless, can’t do anything here. It’s best if you get out of here and go and be someone out in the street.

After my six months’ detention came out. For two months my mum and dad put me in a program in Hall’s Creek and you get to be two months out in the bush in a station. You learn about culture and you learn about white society as well, how they teach you, a cattle station. The rule is you get to make your own bed, clean your room, get up, cook your own breakfast. As for lunch and dinner your meal already prepared but you get to do a whole lot of chores at the station. That actually benefitted me a lot. I met a guy from Queensland. He told me that for being a bad person it’s to yourself, you can’t look at yourself with others around you, you got to look after yourself, reflection on yourself on the water or in the mirror, do what you’re going to do.

Then as soon as I left that station two months later, I started right back in school. The school went up to Year 9, I didn’t pass Year 10 and 11 and 12. I came home Year 8, I graduated from that and I came to St John’s College here in Darwin, done my Year 9, Year 10, 11 and 12 here, graduated in 2005. I left school and met a wonderful woman, a girl. We started dating for maybe two years then got married in Western Australia. For a few years we had a daughter and that’s when everything got messed up again. I had a great life for her, and everything got messed up ā€˜cause I was more into the – first drink I ever had was 2024, ’23 and tasted my first alcohol, never turned ā€˜round from that. I was constantly drinking a lot – not drinking a lot, drinking on the payday day each fortnightly, came back home on a Sunday and be massively violent to her – not violent, arguing, continuing arguing with her. I got choked and told myself I should leave so I left everything that I had which we are still married today.

She forgave me for everything what I done, and I came here, I worked in Kalkarindji for a while, started doing labouring job as a painter, quite enjoyed. It was pretty good then, didn’t worry about alcohol or didn’t worry about anything. There was a social club there, social bar or social club open seven days a week, Monday ā€˜til Saturday. Every after work just go to there, just go and just go, have a few beers, hang around with friends and workers. Get too violent where you had – get into a fight with a person a lot. I got arrested four times.
So, I turned around and I said, ā€œI resign from my jobā€, I came here in Darwin. I was working here in Darwin from December, parttime job painting as a labour, interior housepainter. It ended up for a month and it got rock bottom ā€˜cause of the cyclone and then the alcohol started to – drugs and alcohol started to kick in again. Didn’t turn up to work a lot, turned up at work at like 9 or 10, sort of hung over, half drunk, body shaking and all that and my boss told me ā€œI’m going to have to let you goā€. Tried pleading with them saying ā€œgive me one more chanceā€.

That’s when I started living in the streets in Darwin city, find a warm, cosy little alleyway. It was sad and just walking around for three, four days or five days without food, losing a lot of weight and getting Centrelink – the dole money was every fortnightly, just drinking, not worry about food, drinking, drinking. That was so hurtful that I – took me to a dark place where I just wanted to jump off to that edge of that rocky cliff area at Darwin city, Scenic View. Just wanted to jump off the rock and just end my life but didn’t want to do it. I was thinking that I’m only 36 years old, it’s a lot to do more than that.

For maybe four months now drinking, got into a lot of fights with locals around here, been beaten down a lot. Then I heard someone said ā€œyou should try staying at the detention centre, the old Berrimah, sober up centreā€. ā€œWhere’s that?ā€ Came here and then one of the workers told me, staff told me ā€œyou should go to that Stringybark Centre and try work on your alcohol and drug, start quitting and just start doing something better.

First two was me and Bradley, me and Bradley was – I knew Bradley from the outside area. Me and him were having a few beers back then. Came in here and it started to work, and a really good person taught me about your life, your feelings, thinking about that. So here I am, just trying to better myself, to be a better person and start my own business.
Can you tell me a bit more about the business you want to start and what you want for the future?

Yeah, I want to start up my own business with painting, painting interior and exterior house-painting, housepainter. That’s a small business that you can work on outside the Kimberleys and inside the Kimberleys. That’s what my biggest goal is ā€˜cause I started as a small-time labourer at the community. The first thing they got me doing a job is painting and I didn’t like it for maybe two weeks or three weeks but ended up in six months, in one year I started to like painting and I never looked back at anything else. I was so good at painting and then a guy told me, he said ā€œstart your own business, you got the skills, you got everythingā€ so he gave me that advice and I’ve still got it in my head so I want to start off painting, start my own business. It’s a great opportunity for me to do that. From coming to a bad background and beaten down a lot and now I’m here to start off that as a new business for me and being a painter would be great.

It’s great, even though you said you’ve been beaten down a lot, you’re still trying, you’re still moving forward it sounds like?

Yeah, it’s real good. I feel down a lot sometimes but there’s always someone to talk to like you, and the staff, the guys outside there been helpful from the start, they’re really good. It’s like you motivate yourself, not only keep your feelings inside you, get to bring it out to them as well and they can listen. I really appreciate this chance to talk and hear your story.

Thanks for that, mate. It’s really good to talk about my life story.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Brad's Story

I grew up in Western Sydney in the 70’s and 80’s and I became involved with drug and alcohol use before I began high school. By the time I was 18 I was using alcohol and other drugs daily. My addiction was the focus of my life and took away relationships, family, friends and my freedom. I went to residential rehabs several times during the 1990’s but did not honestly commit to change until 2011, I was unwilling to take the hard options that were necessary.

Since then, I have been able to remain clean and sober because I was willing to take action to change myself and my perspective on life.

I have achieved things I am proud of in the past 11 years. I do not suffer from a fear of financial insecurity, have reunited with my family, almost completed a master’s degree in counselling and work as a counsellor helping other people in their recovery journey. Recovery is possible for anyone-just let go of the things holding you down.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Rocket's Poem

A drug addict for life???

I feel my blood pumping through my veins.
This feeling is driving me insane.
Thoughts racing through my head I wonder if I would be better if I were dead.
Every noise around me I can hear.
But I’m not shaking in fear I see everybody all around me
But I am not free I sit here trapped
Wish I could get slapped
I want to awaken from this hellish dream
I really really need to scream
What the fuck is wrong
I’ve never been without drugs this long It all sinks in

I’m scared of my own skin
Can I ever live a life without drugs
Maybe I should try and get more love and hugs
Maybe I’m just beyond repair
Maybe straight life has given me a scare
Maybe I’m scared of success
Fuck maybe I’m worried I’ll only make a big mess
What if I stop now and don’t even try
I’d have no excuse to fucking cry I may as well stay in jail
Scared that all I’ll do is fail
Forget all my hopes and dreams
I’m sitting here listening to all the drugs scream
Calling out my bloody name
Should I be ashamed Drugs left me here for dead
But still I can’t get them out of my head
Drugs are rife

A DRUG ADDICT FOR LIFE???
If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.

Andrina's Story

So just having a look at the painting, can you tell us a bit about what it means to you?

I see me free, free of pain. There's no darkness and that actually shows me that I am a beautiful Aboriginal woman. Seeing different sorts of colours helps me grow.

Just colours, every time I see colours just makes me want to just keep doing more and more painting with colours and yeah, and then I don't see the darkness or the dark side that I've ever had in my life.

So, all my paintings go with colours, and I try and represent the women and how they're feeling at the time. With this painting she's holding a flower. She's went picking some flowers in a beautiful garden. She's dressed up so beautiful and, you know, she's free of pain and she's very brave. So that's what I see. Brave, beautiful and I don't see darkness. That there's no darkness involved in this picture, so I don't see darkness anymore. I’ve taken myself out of that dark hole and introduced myself to many sorts of colours.
When do you see this image? What part of your day does it come from?

Well, this one was done this morning, so I felt really beautiful this morning, very strong. I just seen like rainbows and it's like go and paint. Because you're gonna paint the most beautiful picture and people are going to love it. So, I want people to see me as somebody. Because before I thought I was a nobody.

So, when I did this picture, I was like, wow did I do that? I'm an artist and so it makes me proud of who I am. There's got to be colours, it's gotta have colours because colours make me happy, you know? And forget about my past and look forward to my new future.

The colours jump out of the canvas.

Yeah. Well, I make sure of that. Even with the eyes. Yeah, it just makes me see I’m free, free of pain. No more pain. You know, just colours of beauty and happiness

If you or someone you know is struggling with an alcohol and other drug issue, call Alcohol and Drug Information Service for free confidential counselling, support, information and advice on 1800 131 350, or view our Service directory to find services available in your area.
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